This Moment Of Being Alive
One hesitates to recommend any 'method' and so, this is not a recommendation. This is something, relatively easy to implement and not at all difficult to comprehend, which worked for me and has worked for others. In fact, it may appear so ridiculously easy that, considering oneself somewhat special, it may be rejected as too simple to be worthy of consideration. After all, all these books I have read and methods I have followed must mean something?
If you truly wish to discover this moment of being alive, all that is necessary is to uncover and eliminate that which is stopping one being 'here'. This moment of being alive is the only moment one has. The future moment has yet to happen and the past moment has already happened. Hopes of being happy in a future, which is yet to exist, are only that - hopes. And hope is just another belief that something might happen. This moment is one’s only chance of happiness - so take it now.
The only 'requirement', for discovering what you actually are, is an absolute honesty with yourself. Admit what you are feeling. Get it "out on the table" and have a walk around it, a good look at it and discover what is actually happening. There is no one to fool but yourself, so what have you to lose by being completely and scrupulously honest? Only your 'self' and, after all, that is the object of the exercise, is it not?
It will also be helpful (and speed things up considerably) if you accept that you are the only person who can change you.
How Am I Experiencing This Moment Of Being Alive?
Ask yourself this, each moment again.
It is suggested one starts with "feeling good" as the basic target answer to the question. If you do not know what feeling good means, perhaps now is the time to consider taking up some other pursuit, such as Monopoly or some equally intellectually stimulating hobby. Any time feeling good is not the answer one needs to consider why. When was the last time one was feeling good? - five minutes ago, an hour ago, yesterday afternoon, whenever. What has happened, since the last time one felt good, that brought a halt to the feeling good? "He said.....", "she would not.....", "I should have...." - whatever it was needs hauling out into the open and a full examination. Once one has discovered what caused the loss of feeling good and realised that allowing whatever emotion or belief that was to run one’s life and cause the loss of feeling good is rather silly, one is able to commence another period of feeling good, until the next time something requires looking at and so on. Once feeling good is the more or less constant response, one can uplevel feeling good to feeling happy, then to feeling great and, ultimately, feeling perfect. Of course, all of these are still feelings, but how many people do you know who feel perfect 99% of the time.
Asking oneself how am I experiencing this moment of being alive? every moment, soon becomes automatic. With constant repetition and awareness, attention is focused on what is actually happening, right here and right now. If one is experiencing this moment of being alive, there is no place and no time one can be, other than here and other than now.
This exercise carries the benefit of immediate results. Setting "feeling good" as the basic target and diligently exploring what is stopping one "feeling good", soon means that one is feeling good for the great majority of one's time.
What Am 'I' Up To
Here are two extremely simple little exercises, which I found useful in discovering what 'I' was up to and of great assistance in being honest with myself.
Either the statement preceding or the statement following "but" is a lie. For example - I would like to help but I am busy that day - guess which bit is the lie. When one really examines a statement containing "but", it is amazing how often this proves to be correct. It is also a useful means of discovering what others are up to.
Substitute "I" for "it". For example - it is useless, I cannot go on - who is reminding themselves that 'they' are useless. Using this exercise, with honesty, can lead to discovery of another belief one holds about oneself - in the stated example a 'belief' that one is useless.
How many times have you tried to do something, or said "I'll try to". Here is a little exercise in trying.
Place an object on the floor in front of you. Now try to pick it up. Finished trying? OK - Is the object in your hand? Yes - well done, you picked it up. No, it is still on the floor - well, you didn't pick it up. "It's a trick, I tried" you say. Want to try again? Place the object on the floor. Now try. Perhaps you get the object in your fingers and it slips from your grasp, or, you wave your fingers in a frantic, grabbing, action over the object. Finished trying? OK- Is the object in your hand? Yes - well done, you picked it up. No - well, you didn't manage to pick it up. "No, honestly, I was really trying" - go back to the beginning of the paragraph.
How much of our lives do we spend trying? Give it up. Either do it with will and gusto or forget it.
What Should I Be Doing?
Any time "should" crops up, is an indication of conditioning or a belief telling you what to do and is something in the way of being 'here'. So every time "should" enters your thinking, there is an opportunity to discover and uncover a belief, which is running your life.
I found writing a "journal" of what was occurring to be extremely effective. This helps to focus one's thoughts on what is happening and stops 'me' from getting off the subject. Be honest in what you write, after all no one need see it but you. Do not worry if it does not make sense at the time, how silly it all may sound, whether the spelling is correct or the grammar is wrong, just write down what is occurring at the time. The journal also provides a useful record, which can be reviewed at any time and, who knows, there may come a time when you wish to share your experiences with others.
Sharing The Experience
I also found sharing my experiences to be of much assistance. Not only does this help to 'ground' what one has experienced, I also found it helped get things in perspective and stop 'me' from getting carried away with 'my' own self importance. I posted to news groups, sent copies to authors of books I had read and to anyone else I thought might be interested - with very mixed (or no) response. I did not care, or at least not enough to stop me, what others thought. My priority in life was to discover what my experiences meant, what life was about. Although sharing one’s experiences is generally helpful, sharing the experience with someone who is either actually free or equally committed to discovering what life is actually about, is of much greater benefit. Then, 'I' know that 'I' cannot get away with any bullshit. It is now possible to share and discuss what life is about with others equally committed on the actualism discussion group on
Doubt is likely to be the biggest enemy one faces on the road to freedom. It certainly was for me. It may creep in, almost unnoticed, like the tendrils of the early evening mist, rapidly spreading and enveloping all in its path. Or it may come as the existential angst of facing up to the fact that one is completely alone in the universe and that there is no other person who can possibly help, or do anything about it. One has to go through this on one's own and, once confronted and recognised for what it is, it disappears, never to return.
I don't feel any different; what if I am wrong; it's not possible; it's not worth it; give it up; look at the hurt I am causing; is it worth giving up all I have; wait a bit before making any decisions. All these and many more I faced with a pure intent, gained from the knowledge of what is possible, experienced during the peak experience called a Pure Consciousness Experience (“PCE”). In the PCE the ‘self’ abdicates control temporarily and one experiences that life is actually be perfect – a veritable wonderland full of sensual pleasure and delight.
Doubt may also be fuelled by the reaction of others, still in the misery and mayhem of the human condition, who will do all they can to persuade one that it is safer to remain with the herd. Questioning what life is actually about is not an activity which is likely to gain much support from those choosing to remain in sorrow and malice.
Once recognised for what it is, a feeling, doubt's attacks become more and more feeble and with each attack successfully repulsed, one's strength of purpose grows and grows, until the feeling of doubt, too, becomes a thing of the past.
Where Do You Want To Be?
Remember the whole point of the exercise is to be here and now, as this body, experiencing life as it actually is, in this perfect moment of being alive. Any sense of "if only" or "I wish" or "if it was not for" are all stopping one living this moment. Only this moment of being alive actually exists - everything else is a figment of 'my' imagination. At one stage, I had thoughts like "if only I was not doing this job, I would have more time to devote to discovering what life is about". Wishing for something that might be, or is yet to be, actively stop one from living this moment.
Can one imagine living without fear or apprehension. Living life to the full, every minute, every day. All that and much, much more awaits and it is almost unbelievably simple. It requires no mantras, no hours of fruitless meditation. There need be no days spent in total silence with only a short intermission, when the ‘revered master’ spouts gibberish then spending the next twenty two hours trying to understand and berating oneself for not getting the ‘message’, while the ‘revered master’ helps to 'enlighten' some of the younger, more attractive, female disciples.
There is no tried and true way. If there were we would all be enlightened. The tried and true ways have failed for thousands of years to achieve what is promised. Rather than peace on earth, the tried and true almost inevitably results in more disharmony and often bloodshed. It truly is the tried and failed. Each person has to discover themself, for themself, by themself and who would have it any other way? We are each in absolute control of our own destiny and what a marvellous freedom and delight acceptance of that alone gives.
Life was meant to be easy. Life was meant to be fun.